Infinite dreams
Within the depths of my being, I grapple with the essence of "self," recognizing that this elusive concept is the crux of the entire predicament. The mere utterance of that word, "self," feels inadequate, and I am consumed by the perplexity of how and when I forgot its true meaning. As the body gradually slows, cell by cell, the brain persists in firing neurons, resembling vibrant fireworks within. Surprisingly, instead of succumbing to despair or fear, I find myself immersed in the present moment, engrossed in memory.
A profound awareness washes over me as I recall that every atom comprising my physical form originated in the fiery furnace of a star. Contemplating the nature of matter, I understand that my body is nothing more than empty space, and solid form is but energy vibrating at a sluggish pace. In this realization, the illusion of an individual "me" dissolves. Electrons from my being seamlessly intermingle with those of the earth and the air I no longer breathe. And I remember there is no point where any of that ends and I begin. I remember I am energy. Not memory. Not self. My name, my personality, my choices, all came after me. I was before them and I will be after, and everything else is pictures, picked up along the way. Fleeting little dreamlets printed on the tissue of my dreaming brain.
As I dream I remember that I’m the lightning, the energy firing the neurons. With each passing moment, I return. Just by remembering I return home. Like a water droplet returning to the vast ocean from which it has always been a part. All things... a part. You, me and everyone's who's ever been, every plant, every animal, every atom, every star, every galaxy, all of it. More galaxies in the universe than grains of sand on the beach. The cosmos and its infinite dreams. We are the cosmos dreaming of itself. It's simply a dream that I think is my life. But I'll forget. I always do. I always forget my dreams. But now, in this split-second, in the moment I remember, the instant I remember, I comprehend everything at once. There is no time. There is no death. Life is a dream.
Or better yet a wish. An eternal wish, recurring perpetually throughout the vast expanse of eternity. Within this sublime moment, I am everything—the culmination of all experiences, the embodiment of existence itself. I am that I am, just a fragment of the cosmos dreaming its infinite dreams.
